Love this video its very inspiring its about creating fear projects where if something scares you you put in place a plan to conquer it and move forward. Be a warrior not a worrier.
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I am self confessed hoarder of all things. I collect things, I am sentimental, I love books and I a good deal.I found out about minimalism online from some other bloggers who said they felt more calm once they de-cluttered and switched and so I thought why not give it a go.
Minimalism is basically living as simply as possible and with less. The amount of things we own today is baffling and really we do not need half of them. We live in a consumer world and the constant need to keep up with the next door neighbour or latest trend can not only be expensive but also result in clutter in our lives.
I would describe my journey with miminalism over the past year as a slow but steady one. I have managed to probably cut what I own in half at least. It was amazing when this resulted in one whole drawer of items that were reduced. This spurred me on to reduce another shelf and even though last week I told myself I had no clothes to throw out I found myself with another black bag for charity.
How I started was with a capsule wardrobe each 12 weeks. Basically, this means tailoring your wardrobe to around 30 essential items from jeans to jumpers and t-shirts. Doing this made me look at my wardrobe, what I needed, what I loved what I did not wear anymore. Generally, if I do not wear something within the 12 weeks it has to go. This meant reducing my wardrobe massively. The pro of this is pretty much everything in a capsule wardrobe goes with each other so there is always an outfit in the wardrobe and it makes it so much easier to decide what to wear.
Then I started to adapt this to other things I owned. I went down through everything make up to stationary. If I do not love it, use it or like it then it had to go.
It makes everything in your life so much simpler and who does not want to come home to a calmer and easier to clean house. Not to mention it saves you money too. Give it a go and see if it helps. I learned about it from Sugar Mamma see video below.
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Since I learned this I have not had a panic attack. If you suffer from anxiety its well worth learning.
Step 1: Breathe in through the nose to a count of four
Step 2: Breathe out through the mouth to a count of eight
Continue (2-3 times) or for as long as required.
You need to breathe deeply in and out so your chest rises and falls.
There is a method called BUteyko which can help. I tried it but it did not work for me. But it might for others. I like yoga breathing for anxiety and find this helpful and yoga too for relaxation.
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I think the Loose women raise some important points. It can be hard to talk about it and I resonate with Stacey's comments that sometimes you might not know what it is but you know something is wrong.
I did not know I had anxiety. My family and friends told me.
I knew I felt stressed out and overwhelmed.
I didn't ask for help. I screamed for it and it fell on deaf ears in some parts of my life.
I would say to people 150% do talk to people BUT :
Don't just talk to anyone about it. Talk to someone you trust and someone you know will have your best interests at heart. Not someone who will judge. Someone I know had depression and anxiety and he didn't know I had it. I could have talked to him but I made the assumption that if I did he would think I was weak, mad etc. But in retrospect it was silly we were both struggling and if we knew we could have helped each other.
If you think something is off but you are not sure talk to your doctor.
If you decide to go see a counsellor do your homework. I went to a counsellor for a year and paid 70 euros a session. I was told I was just seeking attention, he told me he did CBT . I brought a book on CBT and did Awares course online and we never touched on any of those things covered in the book or Awares course in the sessions. I had a panic attack in one of those sessions and my anxiety got worse. I was so restless I could not sit down for the duration of the sessions. I had to switch counsellors and I have not had a panic attack since I started with my present counsellor. Ask for recommendations from your doctor for someone in the locality. If you see someone and its not clicking don't be afraid to say so and go elsewhere. Sometimes its a case of finding someone that fits with you.
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All opinions expressed are my own.I am not a qualified doctor or therapist and therefore
Anxiety Vogue Williams
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Mindfulness
Breathe
I am excited- really like this thought
Change how you look at things threats =challenges
Exercise
Sleep
Identify why
Routine
Spiritual practice
Eat at regular times
Exercise
Mindfulness
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I didn't know what anxiety was before I had it. I just knew I felt so uneasy, so afraid but I couldn't put a finger on why. My muscles would tense up. When it got bad,I felt like someone had their hands around my throat, like there was a weight on my chest, like I could not get enough air, I couldn't breathe, the room was spinning, sweaty, pins and needles. I was going to faint or die or my heart would beat so fast I would think I was going to have heart failure. I would feel so sick with worry sometimes I would struggle to eat. My mouth would go dry and I would find it hard to swallow.
There was no peace, there was no calm. That part of me just disappeared.
I was fidgety. I became withdrawn because I was afraid of everything.
This isn't a comprehensive list it impacts other people in different ways. This is just how it impacted me.
I saw someplace someone saying they hid the knives because they had anxiety and were afraid they would use them. That made me scratch my head alot. Its the last thing that comes to my mind when my anxiety is bad. I hide if its bad. I don't want people to see me or for my friends and family to worry. Its never a case where I'm going to hurt anyone or anything. If anything I find children and animals are the most amazing and calming cures. Just because they have such good nature and love. If a baby is screaming at me sure I might have a minute where I'm in a panic looking for a bottle but so does everyone. For me my instinct to protect and love is so much stronger then my anxiety when it comes down to it. It annoyed me to see someone misrepresent it in that way.
Anxiety is a natural feeling. Its fight or flight we get it before exams, interviews, dates etc. Its normal to have a certain amount of anxiety leading up to these kind of events or maybe even a break up etc. Its not normal if its constant for weeks on end with no apparent cause. Where it impacts your sleep. Where your uneasy, fidgety and excessive. Sometimes it can be due to a stressful situation such as death or loss of a loved one. It might be just a period of time for which you need some more support.
If you think you have it or someone you know has it I'm going to encourage the following steps:
Have a chat with them. Just simple over a cup of tea/coffee. Just ask how they are. Listen and ask if there is anything you can do to help maybe just say you have noticed they have not been themselves. Just let them know you care.
If its you go to your GP- you may be offered medication. I am pretty anti medication and I opted not to take it initially but it got to a stage where I needed it. It worked and I'm glad I have it so don't rule it out but do go with something that suits you.
Find a good counsellor someone who does Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I'm going to post about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy because one mistake I made was trusting a counsellor who said they did CBT but never did it.Do some research about it. Go with your gut on counsellors if you like them and feel comfortable and like you can talk then they are for you. If not and your not seeing a benefit after about 8 weekly sessions leave and find another. They are not for you.
Talk to someone a friend, family member and let them know.
Self care- I will blog about this as well but I manage my anxiety through everything from sleep to diet and so make sure you look after yourself.
I read a book on mindfulness based cognitive behavioural therapy and basically it said do this. Just say yes. I have certain triggers for my anxiety and things which make it worse. Sometimes I used to avoid these situations be in going out etc. But the more you avoid the worse it makes it and the more it restricts you. So I started to say yes and do it. It was scary and I will not lie there are still times its hard and I struggle. But out of this my first blog www.forrealll.blogspot.ie was born. It charts all my little adventures since I stated to say yes. Its about appreciating the moment and going places I enjoy. For so long I was afraid. I'm so much happier now because I feel like I'm making progress. I'm doing things and making my dreams come true even just small little things. This affected my self talk because you can spend time just feeling bad because it can affect you so badly. Now I'm enjoying my life more and more.
Try it and just take your time. Some days are good and some days are bad. I know and I understand.
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I really like Brent Pope and I respect him too. I was amazed that he has anxiety but it does not define him as a person. He has achieved so much and so he is an inspiration. He is generally a very private person and so its nice to get a glimpse into his life in his own words.
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This is so interesting because of how she changed her view of anxiety. For me sometimes I have said to myself or others I cannot do this because I have anxiety. But what if I did those things in spite of the fact that I have anxiety.
40% of things we worry about never happen
30% of things happened in the past.
That's an amazing statistic because most of things we worry about we have got through or never come to pass. I love her attitude in tackling her fear and setting up her own youtube channel about designer handbags. Create your own fear project! I love this its so positive.
I plan to post once a week on this blog. My main blog is www.forrealll.blogspot.ie
I would really like to know if there is anything you would like to see. Also if you are aware of any resources in Ireland from a counsellor to a course or something which helped you with your anxiety please feel to recommend. I will set up a page for same.
You can contact me at forrealllemail@gmail.com.
Would love to hear from you so don't be afraid to make contact.
I really like finding other people talking about their anxiety and what they do to manage it. I want to use the site to share as many as possible. We are all different and we all deal with things differently. So what works for me may not work for you but I think its helpful to see other people talk about it and for me it makes me feel less alone.
I hope it helps. I might update when I get a chance.
The best app’s:
Excel at Life CBT application, has a diary that focuses on challenging thoughts, 50 CBT tools, meditation and relaxation- and it’s free. Excel At Life Apps
Recently found Daily CBT app in Goggle Chromestore. This is totally great as I am working on it’s just a thought, it’s not a monster thinking, and it challenges you to think how likely your presumed fear is. Really quick, easy and practical.
Moodsmith – online CBT course. Not free but useful.
Calm – my favourite new app. You can take 2 minutes from your day to just stop and listen to water, look at calming beautiful images. I love nature so it’s very calming. (Nothing beats the real thing, but this helps if you can’t be outside.)
Diet:
If you’re trying to manage anxiety without medication, I love this guy and have some of his books (The Medical Chef). He has a new one out for anxiety and depression management which is on my hit list. Have not tried it but generally find his work positive in that he does not focus on faddy diets. The focus is on the medicinal and nutritional properties of food. Ingredients for recipes are also generally accessible. Stuff like oats, bananas, salmon, spinach – easy and good if you are feeding a family too.
GI diet (Glycemic Index) – I do not endorse diets but blood sugar levels affect anxiety and hormones in your body. GI diet works by trying to balance this out – focus is on protein and slow releasing carbs. For me it’s not about losing weight, it’s about keeping healthy and feeling well.
Reduce stimulants such as coffee and sugar as it creates spikes in your blood sugar levels.
Alcohol -for me it makes it go away when I have a few glasses and the next day it creates havoc and I get really bad panic attacks. Its just not worth it.
Best Books:
Helen Kinnerley – Overcoming Anxiety
When Panic Attacks – Aine Tubridy
Managing Anxiety using Cognitive Behaviour Therapy for Dummies
Seven Spiritual Laws of Success – non judgement and self compassion- I like it may not be for everyone – Deepak Chopra.
Here are a few other ideas and resources that I have found worked for me but may not for everyone:
Lavender oil – look into contradictions for you- use in bath, helps you sleep etc
Bach flower remedies
Eucalyptus oil – I use on a tissue if I feel my chest is closing in and breathe it in
Massage
Acupuncture
Reading about anxiety – knowledge is power.
Reiki
Emotional Freedom Technique- tapping acupressure.
Sleeping routine put a plan in place. Stick to it as much as possible it makes a massive difference.
Going on youtube find other people /stories coping mechanisms – Emma Stone, Adele other people have this too. You’re not alone.
Structure on your life – slow down – take me time learn to say NO!
Exercise – dance, swim, walk you may not think it but you will feel so much better for it.
Have a goal you’re working towards – mine are putting anxiety in its box, 10x 10k runs this year then I hope a half marathon.
Cooking
Work less hours if you are overworking/study less.
Do a bucket list
Be kind to you- even if you try something and it fails. It takes guts to try and beat this – you’re trying and that’s what matters.
Aware support groups
Aware CBT online course
Mindfulness- can help stop an over active mind in its tracks. Be present- banish the what if thoughts.
Get rid of clutter
Music – either calming or do happy playlists to dance your socks off.
Breathing – so important deep breathing from your chest and in and out through the nose.
Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR).
Chamomile tea, Lemon balm tea, Valerian tea, Matcha tea are all lovely and relaxing
Talk to doctor and other medical health professionals. This is very important. Look after you!
Look for the root cause of your anxiety, if there is one. It could be an old trauma or growing up immersed in negative subtleties that did not serve you well. Address it and ask for help.
Remember if you have a setback it’s because you were progressing – I know it can be harder to pick yourself up as the fall is harder. But there has been progress. You’re doing something right!
Structure your day – for me every action of my day is planned around managing this. From how I breathe, to what I eat, drink, when I am going to exercise, read about managing this. To try and deal with this I have had to look after me in ways I have never done before.
Listen to people who inspire you- everyone has set backs. You can overcome it.
NLP – neuro linguistic programming – positive thoughts.
Watch funny programmes.
Positive psychology.
Mood tracker – do daily what helps your mood to stay up?
Identify your triggers – find ways to diffuse them and plan.
Serotonin boosting foods dark chocolate is one!
Meet new people, reach out and extend your network. Do new things. It might scare you and sometimes I find I’m the one holding me back not it. It’s just the fear.
Keep a gratitude journal. Don’t let anxiety cloud you so all you see is it.
Catch a negative thought then tell it to shut up and go away. Challenge them. Take control.
Write about it – the thing you fear, that Saturday night out with friends, the match, the wedding whatever, don’t censor, just let it flow. Catch the negative thinking and challenge those thoughts.
Try everything you can and go with what works for you. I cannot stress enough this is a such a personal journey – there is no right or wrong way. It’s what works for you.
When you know what works for you – then you know you have some control over it. Then it controls you less. This is super important – the game changer.
Self love – love yourself enough to do whatever it takes. You’re worth it and you deserve it.
Get a moodboard and write the above on it where you see it daily. Put other inspirational quotes there too or even just a list of what works for you.
Laugh and have fun – once in a while let go.
Do things you love, music, writing, photography etc.
Do anything that calms you- light a candle, run a bath. Do it frequently.
Last one but the most important – Get support. Talk with the people you love – tea and chats are the fabric of my life. They will help with set-backs and suggest other approaches, pull you out of the anxiety cave. They will help you beyond measure, talk to them and for me I didn’t have to tell them I had anxiety they knew and suggested ways to deal with it. That helped me because I didn’t have the words. I was so afraid to have that conversation but I’m glad they had the courage to start it have it with me. If you don’t have anxiety or mental health illness being able to recognise it in others and help them can make a massive difference to the person.
Things that I have not tried or tried but did not work for me but may for others:
Buteyko breathing
Medication
Hypnotheraphy
Lindel method.
Grow- mental health support group.
Positive affirmations – Louise Hay Book Heal your Life is good for this.
Some people say art or being creative.
Hope some of this works or at least its ideas. I am still working on mine but as you can see I am trying.
Sharon is awesome. She inspired me to start this and I know I am not the only one who has benefited from having her in my life. If your in Galway and looking for a mindfullness practitioner then I cannot recommend enough and she is an amazing meditation and reiki practitioner. She is someone I am blessed to have crossed paths with one cold windy October evening when I arrived into meditation late !
Do you suffer from anxiety?
What do you struggle with most?
Is it the fear of other peoples perceptions?
The sensations or panic attacks?
Employers perceptions?
Is it the fear of going out?
How can I help you ? How can we attack the bit that most people find the hardest. Can we work together and achieve something. If you are in a good place now can you look back and offer advice to someone who may now be struggling and looking for help. Even if its only a kind word.
When I first watched this I had a massive eureka moment. It was the first time I felt like anyone else had got it and understood it. I think he is awesome and its normalising the conversation but its one step at a time.
This is a little blog that is going to be covering anxiety. Ways to deal with it. Resources online and hopefully it will be a forum for discussion and a positive community. I have anxiety. If you have anxiety then I know and I understand its a pain in the neck.
It can be hard for people to understand so please submit your tips, your stories, anything you want even if you don't want to put your name to it but it will benefit people. Its welcome.
First off I'm going to say I am not a doctor. This is not to provide medical advise and please do not use in place of medical advise. If you need help my main points of call are:
1) Doctor
2)Counsellor- look for someone who does Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Research this.
3) Family and friends.
I really hope that this is a positive resource where people with anxiety can find tips, support and come to be inspired. It might also help your loved ones who do not have anxiety understand what it is and maybe break down the walls of stigma around it. Just because this fear can cripple us does not mean we are not capable of wonderful things. You are.
